The One Word Most Parents Struggle to Say — And Why It Matters

It’s one of the first things we teach our children: the names for the parts of their bodies. Head, shoulders, knees, toes. But when we get to the genitals—particularly for girls—something changes. We hesitate. We switch to vague terms, nicknames, or avoid the conversation altogether. And this one small hesitation? It creates a ripple effect with lifelong consequences.

A recent UK survey found that less than 1% of parents use the word “vulva” when speaking to their daughters. Instead, they say things like “bits,” “front bottom,” or “flower.” Even the word “vagina” is rarely used—only about 1 in 5 parents say it out loud to their girls. These aren’t just linguistic choices. They’re subtle messages that reinforce a powerful cultural idea: this part of your body is different, maybe even shameful.

But here’s the truth: children aren’t born feeling awkward about their bodies. They learn it from us.

Avoiding the correct anatomical terms might feel like protecting their innocence, but it actually denies them vital knowledge. When girls don’t know the names for their body parts, they’re less likely to understand how their bodies work, less likely to speak up when something feels wrong, and more likely to internalise shame around perfectly normal bodily functions.

And this isn’t just about vocabulary. It’s about power, confidence, and health.

The Impact of Silence

Let’s be clear: not knowing what to call your body parts isn’t harmless.

• Girls who can’t name their genitals may not be able to describe symptoms accurately to a doctor. This delays diagnosis and treatment.

• Shame around anatomy can discourage young women from attending life-saving health screenings, like cervical smears.

• Lack of knowledge leaves children more vulnerable to abuse, because they may not have the language, or confidence, to report what happened.

This cycle is generational. If our parents avoided the words, we often do the same, passing down a discomfort we didn’t choose, but inherited.

A Different Way Forward

So what can we do? It’s simple, but powerful: use the correct terms. Say vulva, vagina, clitoris. Say them with the same confidence you use for arm, elbow, or nose. When we normalise this language in everyday conversation, we remove the secrecy and shame. We give our children—and especially our daughters—the tools to understand, respect, and advocate for their bodies.

This is the foundation of lifelong body literacy. And it starts at home.

So if you feel uncomfortable using those words, ask yourself: where did that discomfort come from? And what would it mean to break the cycle?

Let’s raise a generation who knows their bodies, speaks their truth, and knows what normal feels like. Because confidence starts with knowing your normal.